Settling In

Recently I am finding myself in a good place. Things are just coming together and for once, I feel some sort of peace.

The house I moved into has been a perfect fit for Berlyn and I. It’s so homey, safe and adorable. I actually look forward to going home at the end of the day now, which after this past year, I didn’t.

My job is such a godsend. I have a position I truly excel in and enjoy. My co-workers and boss are the BEST I could ever imagine. The work we do is so important; I believe in what we do and finally feel I am doing something worthwhile, professionally. I look forward to going to work every day. My mom once gave me a great piece of wisdom – to be happy in life you need to either love going home or love going to work and I have BOTH! ♥

I recently went on a quick business trip to Coeur D’Alene, ID and Spokane, WA. I was initially not excited about it (being away from my home, my office and my little girl) but, it was really fun. Being in Spokane definitely re-sparked my travel-lust and I loved exploring a new city and seeing the sights.

And, of course, I am so pumped about my two upcoming trips to California in June and Austin, TX in October.

On the homefront, Berlyn and I are preparing for spring. We have a cute little yard and garden box and can’t wait to plant flowers! In just a few months, Berlyn will be a KINDERGARTNER!!! We are so excited =) And, after a year of Berlyn sneaking into my bed, she got her very own “big girl bed” and I am pleased to report – she’s been staying in it. Halleluiah!

Personally, I spend my time listening to music – my truest love – and discovering new bands and artists which is so thrilling. On my playlist I’ve been grooving to Passion Pit, Phoenix, Goyte, Tahiti 80, The Music, The Rapture, Under the Influence of Giants and….lots of pop. *cringe* I have caught myself moving to the new Justin Bieber song. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that but, hey…I like anything that’s good. On another note, Motley Crue and Kiss (two of my absolute favorites) launched a world tour and…of course, Idaho is not on the itenarary. Boo! Luckily, I’ve seen them both before.

I watch “Nip/Tuck” religiously and have started to have dreams about Dr. Troy and Dr. McNamara nightly. It rules.

Speaking of men, as most of my family and friends have noticed, I also have a major, massive, ridiculous crush on Colin Farrell. It’s become a running joke with everyone how I can turn any conversation into something about Colin. Lol…I have always been a little boy crazy and kind of a fan-girl so, they just go with it. Needless to say, I am anticipating the release of “Total Recall” in August just to get a glimpse of that hawt, bad boy.

I’m just gonna leave this here…. =)

Empowerment Mode – On

Long ago, I was a girl who had an “eff you” attitude. My middle finger was held high in the air for nearly my entire childhood and teen years. I was strong as steel and I never backed down. This may sound bad but it was something I was lucky to have. I had no fear. I had no cares when it came to what people thought of me and, if you crossed me, you got my wrath. This all seemed to end as I entered my 20’s. Not sure why exactly. Life began to wear me down. I started to care TOO much about everything – I became insecure, I became anxious and mostly, I became a people-pleaser.

Being a people-pleaser isn’t bad, by any means. But, I took it to an extreme. I let people talk to me however they wanted to, or treat me however they wanted to. I never set boundaries with anyone. I took it – I took the disrespect, I took the power trips and I took it because I thought I deserved it.

Wrong!

This last week has been ahhhhmazing. My adrenaline has been pumping every day. I feel powerful. Actually, more like empowered. I have gone head to head with a few people in my personal life that still had that idea that they could treat me any way they liked because I have always let them. Well, that has ended. And, god damn, does this feel good.

Have I turned into a bitch? I don’t really know. I feel like the same person. I love my family and friends madly, I am still sensitive to certain things and I would never, ever intentionally cause harm to ANYONE. But, I also feel less fear in speaking my mind, standing my ground and hey, maybe some people not liking me! I’m okay with this. Finally.

Or, quite possibly, I have come full circle. I always loved who I was when I was younger. I’ve yearned to be that person again and for whatever reason, in the past 10 years, I could never get back there. I think maybe I have found a way back to ME again.

AMEN ♥

Positive Affrimations

Here are some powerful and positive images to counteract the negativity I’ve felt lately. Thankfully, seeing these images is all it takes for me to have a complete turnaround ♥

It’s the little things.

This past week was just one of those weeks. It’s life. It’s the normal day to day and…..sometimes, it is hard.

I moved into my new place with Berlyn one week ago, today.

My parents promptly left town, to California, searching for a (possible) new home. My new house was scattered with boxes. I got sick the following day – which, I am thinking might be RSV – and took on a hellish week at work. Which, sadly, left me wondering if I was in the right job for me, and if it was time to think about other options.

Add to this that the couch that was delivered to me looked like this:

Yes, I can laugh now, but at the time, I crumpled. It was like the last straw. A couch with no legs? Thanks for punking me, Universe.

Today, I am feeling a little more human. My parents are back tomorrow and my house is slowly coming together. I have felt so alone this past week but, I always have this little angel with me, and for that, I am thankful =)

And life changes…daily. Today is hard but tomorrow might be beautiful.

Moving Day!

Am I really doing this again? AM I?!

Yes, yes I am.

A year ago, I walked into another phase in my life. A lot had transpired leading up to 2011. I didn’t know how long it would last or what exactly it would bring me, but I marched into it. A year is a long time. Especially when you are in a transition mode. Which, let’s be honest here…I am always in a transition mode. I hope that one day, I will find some peace in my surroundings.

Now, it’s time to launch into another phase. This one, I hope, will be better. Already there is so much going on, so much to look forward to and so much to learn from. My little girl will turn 5 this year. FIVE! And, she will start kindergarten. I will have my hands full with my job this year. Lots of hard work ahead of me. I will deal with some shifting around in my family and some changes that I’m not totally sure I am ready to face. And, I will get to TRAVEL! Yeah, baby!

I’m excited. And scared. And nervous and hopeful. Mostly hopeful.

Today, Berlyn and I move into a new home. It’s far from my dream home, it’s no luxury pad but it’s good, for now. I have all the time in the world to find my “perfect.” And, in the meantime, things are just fine. I have everything I need right at this moment ♥