I did it; I had a GREAT year. I can’t even believe it. FINALLY.
2012 far surpassed my expectations in almost every area of my life. Among the highlights – I celebrated one year at my job, my little girl (baby) started school (!!!), and….. she cut her hair. Twice.
I had 100% resolution of my legal issues, and 99% of my financial ones. Freedom! For about a minute, I had a cute boyfriend..it was fun. I spent tons of quality time with my family and friends. And, I traveled to Couer D’alene/Spokane, Austin, Texas and Las Vegas. I saw several rock shows too (and one rap one. Um…yeah.)
And, I am another year stronger – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and now, working on the physical….I’m definitely getting there.
We can’t forget to mention, Obama was re-elected. I’ve voted twice in my life and both times – he won.
For Thanksgiving/my birthday weekend, my family made two excursions to The Idaho Aquarium and The Discovery Center (to see the Bodies Revealed exhibit). My daughter was in heaven and we all had a good time too =)
I am a big sissy when it comes to most “critters” – snakes, iguanas, and especially birds. So, walking into the Idaho Aquarium, I was on guard. But, Berlyn had a fantastic time. Her favorite part was touching sting rays and sharks…whaaaa?? That’s my girl: totally fearless.
The next day, we headed over to the Discovery Center. Berlyn had never been before so she was in for a treat. But, first we all went through the Bodies Revealed exhibit. There were No Pictures Allowed in that area, but, I was so thankful for my Mom’s covert ninja like skills in pic-taking when I pointed out Berlyn, standing in front of a body with a serious expression on her face. My Mom captured the photo like a champ! (Note: Berlyn stood like that for a good 3 or 4 minutes, concentrating very hard. I was so amused by her and couldn’t help but wonder what was going through her little brain…).
I literally had the BEST 4 day weekend I’ve ever had – so thankful, blessed and grateful for my life and the people in it. Not to mention the opportunities I have. I can’t forget to mention, not only is Christmas almost here (yippee!), I am in Vegas next weekend with 2 of my co-workers to party hard; I’m also seeing Snoop Dogg w/ my sister-in-law in 3 weeks. So STOKED ❤
Every year, most everyone is thankful for the same things. Family, friends, their job, their freedom…etc. These, I too am most thankful for. But this year I also added in I was thankful for “men that wear eyeliner.”
LMAO!
I had a good laugh over it, even my Mom had to crack a joke. Hey, life is too short to be so damn serious – sheesh!
Our Thanksgiving this year was a special one. My uncle from California was here, my aunt attended as well and I have never laughed as much as I did this time…I finally feel such a sense of peace and harmony when it comes to family – I am so thankful. No drama here!
The following day was my 33rd birthday. I spent the day watching “I Love Lucy”, painting fingernails and relaxing with my little girl. And the night before, our tree was put up – bring on Christmas!
My birthday was yet another day of laughter, good food and quality time with my family, creating memories. One of my relatives even said to me (I was wearing a skull shirt) that I was the only person she knew that could carry that off. I’ll take that compliment, lol! =)
I am not even sweating over the fact that I am 33. I could care less. My uncle asked me if I felt older…I thought about it; and said “No! Actually, I feel very young lately…” I am thankful for my youth and no matter how old my body gets…..I’ll always be a teenager at heart. Bhahahaha!
The highlight of the past 2 days was that my Mom got a brand new camera and some pretty awesome pics came as a result. I think Berlyn and I even got a Christmas pic for our card this year!
I bought these socks for my Dad and brother while in Texas – I was pleased with their reactions…
My brother is a proud owner of a crotch-rocket!
The Fonz!
Our Family “Gang” Pic: LOL! My Dad turned his back, and my brother’s face is killing me…
Bet y’all didn’t know I was 321, huh? See…I am a vampire.
This last Friday night, I was enjoying a cigarette and a long distance conversation with my best friend in California, out on my back patio.
I looked to my left, and there sat a ….dirty diaper.
Obviously, this was not mine as my daughter is 5 years old and has been potty-trained for almost 3 years now.
Maybe I should back up a little? I haven’t told any of you about my next door neighbors, have I? Well then.
Berlyn and I moved into our little condo in March of 2012. Everything started out great, as our neighbors on the other side of the fence had a little boy who is one year older than Berlyn. {They also have twin 2 year old girls.} It was so nice that Berlyn had a little playmate right next door and they could play together since I could easily see/hear them through our fence.
That didn’t last long.
Back in July, I bought them water balloons and showed them how to use the faucet outside to fill them. I went inside to use the restroom for 2 minutes and came out to find my kitchen/living room SOAKED in water, which included my brand new computer. Can you guess who did this? Definitely not my daughter. Berlyn also slipped on the wet tile and hit her head. Thank GOD she was okay and we didn’t have to make a trip to the hospital. And this little boy never even apologized. I was livid. After that, he was no longer allowed in my house.
He also likes to throw sand from his sandbox at my WINDOWS. And nearly every day she comes home in tears, saying he was mean to her or he didn’t want to play with her. Until the next day, that is and he is begging Berlyn to come over and play. I always give him the benefit of the doubt, and hope that Berlyn will make the decision herself if she wants to play with him or not. Every time this happens, I reinforce to Berlyn that she doesn’t have to be everyone’s friend. Lord knows, I learned this the hard way and I was an adult! Regardless, it’s a learning experience and I want Berlyn to make up her own mind.
One night last month, I walked outside to hear him giving Berlyn a hard time about her “picking one of his Mom’s flowers and so she couldn’t come over there anymore.” I blurted out, “Excuse me, do you remember when you trashed my house with water and sand? And Berlyn fell on the tile? Did I forbid you to play with my daughter? No…I didn’t. Knock it off.”
Ugh, I was furious.
So, back to the beginning of my story. The dirty diaper….
I am 99.9% sure I know who threw that thing into my yard. Along with about a bajillion other toys, objects, etc.
Naturally, I returned the items to them. In a box, in front of their gate to their house. With the diaper right on top.
I am going to attempt to capture all the goings-on in the last little while, though, I’ll probably leave some stuff out. Life has been moving at such a fast pace lately – sheesh!!
So, what have I done lately?
LOTS!
My job has offered me many great opportunities. One of which, is that I get to work for an amazing woman AND a wonderful company/cause. Celebrating my ONE YEAR anniversary this month!
My co-workers and I got to participate/attend a 1920s Mystery Dinner several weeks ago. SO FUN. My boss was in character the whole evening as a “showgirl” and we all knocked back a few gin n tonics while dressed in our best 20s attire.
Can you say, sassy ?! 😉
The next morning, my Mom and I participated in the Annual NAMI Walk, and this year my Aunt Wendy and best friend, Ivy joined us. {Berlyn was with her daddy that weekend.} I did a 5K! I hadn’t even planned on it, but, once we got going, it just made sense to finish. It felt so good!
That evening, I went to Haunted World for the first time in about 4 years. The last time, was rather….eventful {see this old post}. Can I just say how much I LOVE my sister in law? Like, seriously. I laugh harder than I ever have when she is around. Such great times! Oh my, the jokes we share, I couldn’t possibly share them all (or any of them, for that matter – because they are highly inappropriate, lol.)
By the end of the night, we were professing our love for each other, because, honestly even if she wasn’t married to my brother, she’d still be my “sister.” ♥
A few weeks ago, my Mom and I took Berlyn to the Idaho Botanical Gardens for Bug Day! {She even got to wear a bee suit.}
Berlyn just had her “picture day” at school. I am anxiously awaiting the results….god knows MY kindergarten picture was atrocious. But something tells me, Berlyn’s will be just fine. She’s such a cutie patootie – and, no, I’m not biased at all. (lol)
That’s all, for now!
Stay tuned though. This next week I’m attending that rock concert I’ve been freaking out over (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!) *hottie alert*
AND…..
….my trip to TEXAS is right around the corner! I get THIS beautiful gal all to myself!
Berlyn started kindergarten last week. Can I just say, I feel kinda….old? I wasn’t as prepared for it as I thought I would be. I just can’t get my head around the fact that my BABY is in school! She didn’t have a meltdown or anything. She’s so independent and mature, I love it! More than that, she is such a happy little girl – always laughing, singing, smiling. I feel a little bit of pride over how good of a job I am doing 😉
As for me? I am working hard at work, seeing friends and family when I can, and am very much single. Yep, you heard me right. What I’ve been focusing mostly on? Me. Inspiration seems to just come barreling out of nowhere sometimes. I get a little down, start to feel stuck and, then…BOOM POW!!!!
Creativity and ideas knock me upside my head.
The other day, I posted this on my Twitter:
“I’ve come to realize my only focus/goal lately is to a) HAVE FUN and b) LAUGH. That’s it.”
How wonderful that it really is this simple. I have been going full speed ahead for the past year or so with responsibility, maturity, hard work and (mostly) good behavior…haha. Sometimes a girl just needs to let loose and have some FUN!
No shortage of laughs either. As usual, anytime I spend time with my sister-in-law, hysterical laughter is sure to be had. I can’t divulge what was so funny on Sunday night (because she would kill me) but, let’s just say….I might’ve peed a little. Oops, lol!
Living in Boise, ID definitely has its perks…in the Fall, there are some very cool events I look forward to: Art in the Park, Hyde Park Street Fair, the NAMI Walk. All in September too!
I’ve also been making an effort to include concerts back into my life. I used to go to at least 3 or 4 shows every year but, as I got older, poorer, more bogged down with my “responsibilities”, I went less and less. That has definitely changed for me. Going back to my rock n’ roll roots has been just the ticket.
I do have to freak out for a second here: the new band/rock star crush I have had for the past several months (and been driving everyone crazy with) announced a tour just last week annnnnnd, Boise is the 4th stop. Even better? VIP packages were available for a “meet and greet” before the show. UM? Seriously? The hottest guy I’ve seen in years is just gonna let me walk up to him for $40?!?!
Excuse me while I breathe into this paper bag for a moment…
My trip to Texas is happening during Halloween!!!! I cannot wait, seriously – it’s all I think about anymore. 12 days of baby-free, adult fun with my BFF in a new city, with new adventures. Hurry, hurry, hurry!
And, even more exciting? I am about to celebrate my ONE YEAR anniversary with my amazing job. One year? Wow, that went fast.
Time sure flies when life is going right!
Fall always signifies a “time of change” to me. I know most people see this change in seasons that way. There have definitely been some changes in my life but also, some personal ones on the horizon. I have this surge of creative energy coming through right now and more than that? I’ve noticed my good ol’ “rebellious” nature gaining momentum. This, I love. So very thankful that as humans, we can always change, learn, evolve and be born again.
It always astounds me how petty and selfish humans can be; myself included. We get so wrapped up in our lives, our problems, our sillyness. Then, something happens to change it all.
My beautiful co-worker, Ashley is currently going through an ordeal, something that would put anyone’s sanity to the test. Her 3 year old little girl has been having non-stop seizures for nearly a week and there seems to be no end in sight. This makes my heart ache so bad. It made me want to hold my own little girl and not let her go.
There really is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, more important than your children and your loved ones. I feel such a shift in my own attitude this morning towards the less than important things in life – which, there are a lot of.
Focus on what matters. That’s the lesson for everyone ♥
*UPDATE: Baby girl is doing fine. Thankful for the good people around me who offered prayers!
One of the traditions I now adhere to every year is attending the GoddessFest in Boise, ID during the summer. It’s a 2 day event in the park with booths, crafts, tarot readings, spiritual reminders, trinkets, and…add to that, face-painting and belly dancing. all next to an incredible flower garden. It’s always amazing =)
Today, my best friend and my daughter attended and fun was had by all! Check it out…
{Oh, and the “Goth” part of the title? Well, leave it to ME to make it goth…still happens everywhere I go. First, we spot Elvira, then my daughter demands a bat to be painted on her face. Let’s not forget to mention, I look goth no matter what I do/don’t do. It’s a curse I’m willing to live with…. ;)}
I can’t believe it’s happened; I have a FIVE year old!!!!
I still remember finding out I was expecting.
What a rollercoaster that was! My life was decent. I had friends, I did a lot, I had tons of hobbies. But, something was just….missing. When I found out Berlyn was coming, I was OVERJOYED. And scared to death.
Going through pregnancy was not a fun experience for me. I felt out of touch with my body, I was single and didn’t have that male support and let’s not even talk about the LABOR. Sheesh! Hands down, my favorite part was feeling Berlyn moving, kicking and karate chopping inside of my belly. I miss those moments SO MUCH.
The first scary and unsure, but priceless and amazing, months with Berlyn – I miss those too. I thought she was so heavy (lol) – really, she was 8 lbs but all muscle. I had hardly ever held a newborn; I had always been a little awkward around tiny babies and preferred the toddler age. I struggled, and so did she, with trying to breast feed. It was a painful experience, one I wish I wouldn’t have given up so easily on. But unfortunately being a single mom, going back to work immediately – I chose what was convenient over what was probably the best thing for my child. Just one of many tough decisions you make as a parent, I suppose.
All of this doesn’t really seem all that long ago….
Berlyn has been not only the light of MY life, but pretty much everyone who has ever come into contact with her. She is so loved. This makes me beam, thinking about all the people over the years who’ve been there for her, in her life and show her kindness, love and support.
Out of all of her MANY qualities – her feisty-ness, stubbornness, her affectionate side, independence, intelligence, sweetness – my favorite quality ever is how headstrong she is. I feel a huge sense of pride over this. Her personality is one that will get her very far ahead in life and bring about great things. She will never be bullied, take shit or let someone treat her badly. I am kinda envious, lol.
Over the past year, she has grown into a little person. I still call her my baby but, she just isn’t anymore and that makes me almost panic! She is becoming such a beautiful little girl; and definitely developing a strong personality all her own.
These past 5 years have taught me so very much.
I rarely talk about being a parent. But, the information I’ve acquired over the years I’ve been one have been invaluable. I won’t really go into my “schpeel” but, I am definitely in the arena of being a more “unconventional” parent and this seems to suit Berlyn and I just fine. I like that I can raise my child any way I choose and in the process, create some amazing memories with her.
Today is such a special day and there are so many more to come…..life is good.
My dear Princess, I love you so so much! ♥ Thank you for being all mine!
I re-visited “True Blood” on Friday night when our Netflix wasn’t working properly…and boy, it brought back some memories. The best part? Berlyn saying “Sookie!”…she thought he was saying “Zuki!” – which has been her nickname since she was a baby….hilarious.
On Saturday, I participated in my first ever yard sale with my parents.
It was quite the experience….
Not only did I make $25 for my useless crap, while sitting on my behind, I also found some of my long lost treasures in boxes still at their house… (note: the metal shirts I thought were long gone. I pretty much did a happy dance when I saw these!)
I….am….a…..NERD.
I am also a very notorious Motley Crue fan…ANYONE who has ever known me, knows this fact.
I found this, showed it to my Dad and his reaction was, “Oh my GAWD!” while rolling his eyes, hahahaha. (I am 100% positive this was on my car at one time…)
As cheesy as this sounds, finding all my “hair band” memorabilia was one of the highlights in my life lately. I feel no shame and only remember those good times…I loved my life in those times and I love that I still….feel no shame, lol.
*Let’s not mention the dead MOUSE I found in a box of purses though, ok? My poor Chanel wallet…..sob.
Later that evening, I attempted to pull weeds and garden in my backyard, all whilst listening to The New York Dolls, Iggy Pop and Lou Reed. If my neighbors didn’t already think I was crazy, they do now!
I spent 3 hours on the phone with my bff in California, which was MUCH needed.
My other bff, in Austin, referred me to KUT Radio and I listened to 70’s Soul “Twine Time”, along with her…as she is in Austin and I am in Boise. It was a fun night being able to “listen” to the same music at the same time as her….I miss her so. (There is also a 24/7 Jazz station…which has been on since Sunday morning…)
Speaking of, only 4 more months until I spend 12 days in TEXAS! Woot!
Berlyn and I made our first trek to a public pool too! Berlyn has been in a real pool ONE time and she talked about this upcoming adventure every.single.day for over a week. She was so excited, she prepared for it the night before by “packing” her swimsuit…in a ziploc baggie, lol.
Unfortunately, the pool experience was not a great one.
Berlyn freaked out at first, then, refused to wear her floatie or listen to me. When I told her it was time to go, she had a virtual meltdown. Always so much fun to drag a screaming child out of a public place while everyone is staring at you.
Once home, she was worse. So…she ended up grounded on Sunday. Definitely my least favorite part of being a parent but it is necessary sometimes.
The other shitty part of visiting the pool? I have gained so much weight I was terrified to stand up in my bikini, for fear that something would come flying out or pop out…..ugh. So fun.
Thank god I start my 3 day juice cleanse tomorrow….and here’s to hoping I can get my once slender/toned body BACK!
I ended my weekend by ordering my last delicious pizza (haha, hey why not?!) and watching more “True Blood” and bad movies on Netflix.
journal of ardency 